Peace of mind, and how to get it

This starts with identifying what you're not peaceful about. What are you anxious about? What are you depressed about? What thoughts keep you from getting to sleep, or back to sleep if you awaken in the night? What regrets do you have - that you can do something about? Where are you stuck - where are you trying to go? Are you satisfied with your relationships - no? what do you need to do about it/them?

That's a start.

Or at another level, do you give back? Do you live a life of purpose? Do you admire the person you are? Do you feel good about how you are perceived by others?

I had a patient one time who held up her hand with her fingers outstretched and said she felt like a sea anemone with loose ends all over the place. She pulled her fingers in and said she wanted to be like a smooth marble, with her "stuff" under control. We worked on identifying her stuff and helping her figure out how to get things under control. She worked on each thing till she was satisfied, and left therapy feeling in control of her life again. If you are at peace with your life, and I can help you get there, your mind will be at peace. Often the things keeping us up aren't the things and people we can control, but the people

and things we can't. Then your work is the work of letting go, and putting your energy and attention to the things you can change.

The Serenity Prayer
God Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference.
here's the

Serenity Prayer for Relationships
God grant me the serenity
to accept the people I cannot change.
The courage to change the person I can,
and the wisdom to know that person is me.

And always focus on gratitude for the things and people in your life that are gifts.

Spirituality - Honoring that part of ourselves

(Click on picture to enlarge & see the spiritual symbols)

Gardening is one of my ways of honoring my spirituality. I'm amazed by flowers. I've added the spiritual symbols to do my very, very tiny bit towards religions being able to live together in peace.

My quest always is to help you find your way, even if it's no way at all. I ask you questions inviting your examination of your beliefs. I am not judgemental, your choices are about you, not about me.

It's hard to see all the spiritual symbols in my spiritual garden in this photo, but I have a Buddha, a Cross, a Star of David, the Muslim Crescent and a Peace Sign. My hope is that religions can exist in peace and mutual respect. There are many languages of spirituality. Even the bumper stickers on my car carry the same theme, my first is a sticker that says "God is too big to fit in one religion" and the other is "Coexist". I like to surround myself with the messages that bring me personal peace. This is my Buddha with some of my dahlias. When I look at the Buddha I am reminded to
keep my expectations in line and be in my present moments.

It's been of interest to me that of all the information that I've put on my website, the one piece that gets the most comment is "spiritual component, if desired". If we view ourselves as a whole we are body, mind, emotions and soul. It's, of course, the soul part that comprises our spirituality. There is a quiet place inside each of us where our spirituality resides. We can
access a deeper guidance in that place. Many reach it through meditation. Millions participate
in one of the organized religions, millions more seek out the beauty of nature, and hike on
a mountain, walk on a beach or enjoy some amazing flowers.


There is no perfect choice, and choosing not to choose is a viable choice as well. There are pros and cons to every choice, no matter how one sided it seems. Then to choose, and get the lessons
and gifts out of each choice, to fine tune your future choices based on what worked and what didn't. Sounds easy, doesn't it. Anything is easy once you know how, and this is something
I can teach. It's also about learning to trust yourself.

And always being grateful for the gifts in your life.

Philosophy and Overview

Welcome readers!

I'm going to be sharing my wisdom gleaned from years of therapy, where
I have taught and learned for thirty years. Feel free to post your thoughts and questions. This site, of course, is not meant to diagnose or treat anyone. My postings will share with you my philosophy of therapy and treatment overall. Even if you agree with all of my perceptions, it may be difficult for you to internalize this information and apply it to your own life. Individual therapy is where you can customize these beliefs into a system that works for you from your own background and experiences.

Many people seek peace of mind, being at peace with others and yourself, living the life you hoped and envisioned. The work of individual therapy helps identify those things holding you back from your vision, and the things that help you get where you want to go and live the life you want. There are certain mentally healthy attitudes and behaviors that you can learn, even if they weren't taught you, that apply to us all. I'll attempt to blog about the most important ones.

I have included a prayer that I have in my office. I believe we have to learn how to trust ourselves by learning from the choices and decisions we make. This prayer speaks to the gifts and lessons we need to be able to find in each of our choices. There are no perfect choices, just package choices. Each one has positives and negatives.

An Indian Prayer

We ask for strength

and you give us difficulties

which make us strong;

We ask for wisdom and

you send us problems,

the solutions of which

develop wisdom. We plead

for prosperity and you

give us brain and brawn

to work. We plead for

courage and you give

us dangers to overcome,

We ask for favors and

you give us opportunities;

therefore, Great Spirit,

we ask you to bless us

and assist us according

to thy will.

(author unknown)

And always being grateful for the gifts in your life.

Over the next several weeks, I will try to post one weekly and will start by posting blogs on the following topics:

Spirituality - honoring that part of ourselves
Peace of mind - how to get it
Self trust and self esteem - building them up over life
Trusting others - can I?
Communication - some tips to hear and be heard
Balance - in your day and in your life
Boundaries - with everyone including myself
Parenting - things that work and things that don't
Relationships - rules for healthy ones of all kinds
Wholeness - mind, body, emotions and soul

I will add categories and topics as I go along, and some will certainly be guided by your responses and questions.

www.hollyfitzgerald.com